I'm not even a real aunt...
(subsequent condition of being an only child...and why my grandma lectured me about the dangers of marrying another only child...I was six years old and I still remember her exact words: "if you marry someone who's an only child, you'll never be an auntie, Kathleen. And your kids won't have any cousins. You don't want that, do you?" She was making a good point. But perhaps she should have been more concerned about encouraging me to marry, rather than focusing on the details of it all. What would she say to me now, I wonder?)
But despite this...I can hold my own in the "mama/auntie stories" department.
That's the pay off from living with a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a 20 month old who thinks she's 14.
And so, to share in the delight of living life with this crew, I bring you the best of the best stories from the last few days.
These are my latest Charlee favourites (age 4.71...I did the math.)
Namaste, horse land.
It's Saturday morning.
I roll out of bed and make my way upstairs, to find Carleigh and the kids partying in the living room (aka usual Saturday morning stuff).
I make breakfast and join in the party...we all sit at the table and eat and talk about the day.
Mid-conversation, Charlee puts her hands together, bows her head, and dips her head into her clutched hands...she reminds me of a Buddhist monk.
God bless us, she says.
Carleigh and I can't help but laugh.
Charlee, where did you learn that?
Charlee, where did you learn that?
She looks up.
(A very typical Charlee response)
Where did you learn to do that, Charlee?
She shrugs her shoulders, grins, and utters,
Oh, just in mine head.
Oh, of course.
She repeats the whole process...with added dramatic effect, for our benefit.
Well, where was your head?
I believe that's a legit question at this point.
Um...it was at horse land!
Well, namaste, horse land. Namaste.
I'm sitting on the couch, working on some homework.
Charlee runs up to me.
Kaleen, I'm thinking of someone...
He has wings!
He can fly!
And he lives...(points to her heart)
Who is it, Kaleen?
Um...well, Char, I'm not sure.
Come on, Kaleen! You can do it! He can fly and he lives right here (points again to her chest).
Um, Charlee, are you talking about God?
Yes! It's God! That's who I'm thinking about!
And, he has wings and can fly?
Yes, he can!
Right, okay, well, we might need to work on your theology, Charlee.
(At this point, Gary walks by, and points out to me that I have no proof God doesn't have wings or can't fly. I return to my homework...a little bit speechless).
No, that's where my ribbons are.
Tonight we're in the middle of dinner.
Charlee points to my shoulder, and makes a circular motion with her finger.
Kaleen, what's this called?
Well, this is my shoulder, and this is my back, and this is my arm (she'd covered all three with the finger waving).
No, Kaleen, I mean, what bone is this?
Well, I think it's a bunch of bones, Charlee.
Kaleen, I think it's your talus bone.
Oh, really? Well, I think your talus bone is lower down, like maybe in your back? (at this, I point to my lower back...I obviously have no idea. I just googled it. It's in your ankle. I plead the fact that I never took biology as my excuse for ignorance).
No, Kaleen (she points to her lower back), those are my ribbons!
I immediately chuckle.
Actually, Charlee, your ribbons are in the front. And they're called ribs.
Charlee looks at me, and realizing her mistake, bursts into a giggle.
We laugh together.
I love this kid.
Don't worry, Kaleen.
We're still eating dinner tonight.
Charlee asks: Mom, can I have some dip dip for my fries? (in our house, this is a common reference to ketchup, known as red dip dip...or ranch dressing, known as white dip dip. You see the theme.)
Attempting to help Carleigh out, I ask Charlee if she wants the open container of sweet and sour sauce that came with the chicken we bought.
No thank you, Kaleen.
Carleigh hands her the ketchup, and Charlee happily starts eating her fries.
I feel a hand on my shoulder.
I turn and see Charlee's big eyes:
Don't worry, Kaleen, you're still my bestest friend.
Cue heart melt.