A blessing.

When I was at Missions Fest in January, I sat in on a guest lecture about the Sudan...overwhelming and honest. I still think about that lecture often. At the end, the speaker finished with this Franciscan blessing. I felt like it summarized exactly what I've been feeling in the last number of months. I heard him speak it, and then had no idea where to find it...until I very randomnly found it on Facebook...of all places.

Enjoy.

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Reconciliation...

"The re-consecration of desecrated places" is one of Webster's definitions of reconciliation. As followers of Christ, we are called to the ministry of reconciliation. When I look at this definition, I am immediately excited and overwhelmed in the same breath. Is not our entire earth "desecrated"? Are not each one of us "desecrated"? Then I am reminded...I am not taking the lead on this. It is not my power, my might, my strength that brings this about. I am merely tapping into that groundwork which has already been laid: Christ's sacrifice.

Yesterday, while many men scurried around the city looking for last minute flowers and chocolate, I, along with about 400 others, said good bye to one great man. Together we celebrated the life of George Schmidt. And I miss him.

This last year, we also said good bye to another great man, John Schmidt. Cancer claimed both of their lives. No, let me restate that. Jesus claimed their lives...cancer ended them. John, whose role in "pastoral care" at CBC, continued to write me emails of encouragement, even in his retirement. These emails always came at the most important times. George, who, in one of his last acts as "Dean of Students" at CBC, hired me as a Residence Director 5 years ago, and convinced me that I was able, even when I didn't think I was. He was so determined to see me take the job that he offered me a solution to do both RD and ministry in Costa Rica. I pursued that model for 4 years.

Reconciliation.

While we grieve, these men are reconciled in the fullest sense. They live with God. Step in step. Full sight. Today I rejoice that I knew these two men...and that they took the time to invest in me.

The return to myself...

In some ways, I feel like I've been absent for a couple of months. Like December and January, I went on vacation, and a robot form of me took over.

But, I'm back.

This last week was Missions Emphasis...and man, did God speak to me. There are days when I start to get comfortable here - start to buy into the North American mindset, the consumerism, the desire for more and more. The words I have heard this week have been convicting, blessing, encouraging, and challenging - I know the path that I am headed on, and there is no way I can do it, unless God is guiding me. I don't know the wheres or the whens or the whos...but I know that I am called to serve, and for some reason, staying in North America is not on my agenda. But then again, only God knows my future...and I've learned to never say never.

This is what I echo with today:

"I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently." - Donald Miller